Christchurch is spread out like LA. Our bus driver/guide, Ross, specialized in pub humor more than careful driving. He was a retired nurseryman tapped to escort us into the upcountry west of Christchurch. He drove us through the flat exurbs of Canterbury, pointing out the local dairy and telling anti-Ozzie groaner jokes. “Winding each other up” seems to be cultural. Polite Americans avoid making ethnic jokes, but when it’s Kiwis vs. Ozzies, bring on the toilet humor and the dumb jokes. He told a single anti-woman frat boy joke, but stopped after it was stonily received. Thanks for that, Yanks.
I did see two interesting sights. First, I saw deer, probably Red Deer, grazing in a fenced pasture. Sign me up for cattle or goats, because I would not want to herd deer. The Blacktail Deer I’ve met are skittish. In LG we called Autumn “Stupid Deer Season” and a homeowner on Summit Road tallies the “Suicidal Deer” each season. The flap on the poster stood at “5” when I last drove past in January. Maybe the farmer stupefies the deer before slaughter by shining bright headlights at them. Maybe the herd control is outsourced to a Border Collie. Border Collie: Get along, little dogie! Deer: Yipe! Eat my hoof, you brute!
Also, I saw two Australian Shepherd dogs being trained to herd, with real sheep cooperating. Aussie 1: I got the North-South Axis! Aussie 2: I got the East-West Axis! Yes! Together we’ll put them in the pen! Sheep: Um, yeah, don’t bite me, don’t glare, okay! I better follow the flock.
We rode a jet boat on the Waimakariri River. We stood around in two sheep pastures. We were treated to a sales pitch about Kiwi crafts. Wildlife sighting: one hawk, one fantail.
Ross nearly drove our bus in front of a fast-approaching coal train. There are no guard-arms to keep opposing traffic off the tracks. Luckily the train sounded its horn and Ross braked. Obviously he is not a professional bus driver.
Christchurch suffered an earthquake in 2011. Many of its 1850-1890 era buildings collapsed. The newly constructed buildings look like blocks, not photo-worthy. This is a glimpse of what was lost.
JohnandJanet'sJourney 
Looks like a pretty river at least! Is this more of what you get when you do the group activities? Jet boat rides and sales pitches? Did you at least get to pet the sheep? Love, Shosh
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You would have liked the Coast to Coast multi sport endurance race held on that day: Bike, Kayak, and Run. Each athlete needed a team at the transitions and there were little girls in green tutus, playing with river rocks.
PJ was the least friendly Kiwi we’ve met. Sheep don’t like to be petted. PJ was a shill for the House, which offered a baggie of sheep pellets for NZ$2 to feed the sheep.
I don’t mind sales pitches. I spend $ in every port. That’s part of the bargain with upscale travel. I spend in nonprofits like the Environment Centre in Picton when I can.
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Sorry, the form didn’t let me type.
Honestly, I’m with the Stony Yanks on this one. Ross’s humor would not improve my afternoon.
Are the red deer less skittish? Definitely rooting for the herding dogs!
It does seem like a certain number of sales pitches come with the cruise experience. Unfortunate.
It looks like a nice river, though!
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