Legendary Marine Creatures

In Invergordon, JG rejected a tour I had proposed to Loch Ness to cruise the lake and look for Nessie. While I would have enjoyed the chance to cruise a beautiful large lake, surrounded by volcanic scenery, John categorically dismissed the opportunity to listen to tall tales about the sea creature called Nessie. Maybe if the tour involved geology or natural history he would have enjoyed the boat trip, but there should be absolutely no campfire-type tales about a sea monster.

We’ve seen the rise of imaginary creatures turned into marketable mascots on T-shirts and made into plush toys. Hello Bigfoot! Looking at you, Tahoe Tessie!

Are other tourists enchanted with guides who spin yarns instead of being scientifically knowledgeable? As I am a lit major allied with an engineer,  I must provide my own Nessie tales instead of a local guide’s. To wit:

o    Nessie surfaces wearing Granny‘s expensive prescription eyeglasses athwart her forehead after Granny leaned over the side of the tour boat and the glasses fell in. Only Granny saw Nessie, but of course she waren’t wearing her glasses so who knows what she saw. 

o    Nessie spots a lonely boy hugging his knees on the shore. She slithers up and rests her head on his feet and allows him to pet her for a while. When he later relays the story, his account is not believed because the boy is neuro-divergent. 

o    Nessie nudges a fishing boat away from crashing on the rocky shore when the captain has fallen asleep. The captain often drinks too much and nobody believes him when he says Nessie saved his boat.

Sometimes truth is better than fiction. The Santa Cruz Sentinel reports that sea otter 481 has been causing problems among surfers off the coast of Santa Cruz. The little monster climbs aboard surfboards and harasses surfers, biting at them and biting their boards. Sea otter 481 is a five-year-old female who had been raised at the Monterey Bay aquarium and then released to the wild. Obviously, she has turned to the dark side and is bent on biting the human hands that used to feed her.  The marine mammal specialists at the aquarium are trying to recapture sea otter 481 in order to imprison her for “rehabilitation.”  “Cute am I?  Make a plush toy out of me, will you? I’ll show you interlopers whose Bay this is!” 

Aye, the keepers at the MB Aquarium knew 481 was trouble when she kept swiping matches from the cafe and trying to start fires in her pen. Or when she tied kelp into nooses and tried to lure her keepers into a snare baited with a smartphone.