Springfield

It wasn’t my idea to stop in Myrtle Creek, next to the Tractor Supply Store. It was Joulie’s.  That’s where the next I – 5 northbound Supercharger is. Myrtle Creek is capital C Country. Pickups. Livestock. Feed stores. While JG tied the nose bag on Joulie, I looked around at some XL white men dressed in country casual: knee-length cargo shorts, dark T-shirt or hoodie, and the three B’s: beard, buzz cut and baseball cap. I saw a sign, “Skid Steer for Rent.” While I was imagining cattle skidding around, JG explained that a skid steer is a small multipurpose tractor, like a Kubota with useful blades and buckets.  How worldly he is!

Then we landed in Springfield, Eugene’s ugly drainage canal of a twin city. Eugene, the attractive university town, has kept chain stores out of its downtown. So they have all built outposts in Springfield. Eugene controls its traffic and offers parks, murals, and public art. Springfield is good at untrammeled urban sprawl. 

As a traveler, I’m Country-curious. In Springfield I watched  the buckaroos of World Rodeo Circuit on TV, event bull-riding. Fascinating commentary from the announcers: they introduce the rider by name, age, and hometown. They introduce the bull by name, weight, and reputation. The riders need to stay on the bull’s back as long as possible, up to eight seconds, to win prize money. The bull needs to buck that cowboy off ASAP or it ends up as steak dinner. It sounds like this: Cody Stanton, age 25, from Charmless, Oklahoma riding Terror Tank, 1800 pounds, from Shoestring, Texas. Sage Kimnitz, age 24, riding County Jail, 1900 pounds, from Asqueroso, Arizona. While I watched three young men go flying off their three bulls, the announcer intoned, “it’s a good day for the bulls today. That makes it Bulls versus Riders three to nuthin’.” Riders now wear body armor and helmets, thank goodness. Rides are timed. The winner stayed on 6.66 seconds.

Here’s a lively bit of prose praising a famous rodeo bull:

Red Rock was unridable, not because he was mean or temperamental, but because he was smart. He could somehow sense a rider’s moves and then pull a swift and effective counterattack. I now invite my readers to invent fanciful names for rodeo bulls. Feel free to share them in the comments section, or email me.Here are some of mine: Dark Star, Captain Danger, Friday Night Bender, Psycho Killer, and Toxic Masculinity. JG added Big Snort.  Any ideas?

With input from Miriam, see comment, I propose all-purpose pseudonyms for drag queens, roller derbyettes, and rodeo bulls: Manic Panic, Unbroken, Aces Wild, and Cheatin’ Heart.